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Freedom of Religion and Spiritual Abuse





Freedom of religion is the right to practice your faith. An example of this would be having the right to wear a hijab (or any other form of religious clothing). Spiritual abuse (aka religious abuse) is a form of abuse that includes using religion to control or oppress others. Examples of spiritual abuse include:

  • Forcing/pressuring someone to convert to a different religion

  • Preventing someone from practicing their faith

  • Excluding someone from religious services

  • Degrading what is sacred to the victim

  • Using religion to justify or excuse abuse

  • Using religion as an excuse to restrict access to healthcare

  • Using religion to pressure the victim to do things they don't want to do

  • Ridiculing or mocking the victim's religious beliefs or practices

  • Using religion to make decisions for the victim instead of respecting the victim's autonomy and allowing them to make decisions for themselves

Unfortunately, spiritual abuse is common within religious communities, especially since it is seen as a method of "saving people" or "helping them become better". This justification for spiritual abuse relies on the assumption that the victim is not competent enough to make decisions for themselves, and this is quite degrading and infantilising. Countries such as Saudi Arabia and Iran have strict dress codes for women in public spaces to enforce modest attire in the name of religion. While I choose to wear the hijab myself, I cannot support such laws in the name of my religion when it clearly deprives other people from their right to make their own choices about their bodies. Yes, I choose to wear the hijab and I am happy and comfortable wearing it, but I also recognise that many other people do not share those sentiments and they should be allowed to make their own decisions regarding what they wear, just like I did.

Spiritual abuse does not make people comply with religion, it only distances them from their faith and makes them feel unwelcome in their religious communities.

The occurrences of spiritual abuse within the Muslim community are often weaponised to justify restricting or completely depriving Muslims' freedom of religion. For example, some countries (such as France and China), have banned forms of religious attire under the guise of combatting religious freedom, and such restrictions on Muslims are largely met with support. They cannot imagine that a Muslim person would willingly want to cover their hair or their face, so they deprive us of that choice. However, a more logical solution that ensures everyone's personal liberties and rights are guaranteed would be to simply allow us to make our own decisions about what we choose to wear. I do not need to be told what I should and should not wear, since I am perfectly capable of making those decisions for myself.

Preventing me from wearing my hijab or depriving me of my right to practice my faith as a Muslim does not "liberate" me from religious oppression, in fact, it enforces another form of oppression by denying me the right to choose what I do with my body. Wearing my hijab does not hurt anyone, other than the egos of people who feel entitled to my body, and I refuse submit to their perceived ownership of my body. My body is mine, and mine alone, and only I get to decide what to do with it. I feel a strong urge to advocate for everyone's right to religious freedom (and of course I advocate for ALL people's rights, not just Muslims) because at some point I did not have that religious freedom. Growing up in an abusive household, I was commonly prevented from practicing my faith, despite my parents being Muslim themselves. I was the only one in the household to pray my full prayers 5 times a day, and this seemed to bother them. When I would go to pray they would complain that my prayers would apparently "ruin [their] day". I was also the only one in the family to eat only halal food, so they would constantly mock me for this ("is your water halal? is your ice cream halal?" etc.).

One time my father forbade me from praying because I did not make him tea/coffee (I can't remember which one it was). He said it was sinful for me to pray before making him tea/coffee. They seemed to accuse me of sin to make me feel guilty whenever I did something that they did not approve of, even when it had nothing to do with religion.


Obviously now I recognise that this is spiritual abuse, but at the time, I was just so hurt and confused. My mother did not like going to the mosque to pray, so when I asked if I could go pray at the mosque, I was told that it was sinful for me to do so.

This was several years ago when I was a child, but even today I have still never prayed at a mosque because I feel scared/anxious to do so since I was told it was sinful. It would feel wrong and I would feel completely out of place. My social anxiety causes me to worry about possible scenarios, such as me saying or doing the wrong thing at the mosque and embarrassing myself in front of everyone, or worse, distracting everyone from their prayers.

One time I visited a mosque to attend a lecture by a feminist activist that I deeply admire. She interrupted her lecture to pray alongside everyone in the mosque. I did not join the prayer (I was on my period so I could not pray), but mashallah it was amazing to witness. I had never seen so many people praying together in real life. It was so surreal and wonderful that i started crying in happiness.

I keep telling myself that I am going to go to the mosque to pray there for the first time sometime soon, but again I still have a nagging feeling that I would be disobeying my parents and that I would embarrass myself in front of everyone. It almost feels as if I would be walking in there with a big red sign saying that it was my first time praying in a mosque. These are only some of the consequences of the spiritual abuse I endured, and I don't want anyone to ever feel like they cannot practice their faith!

Another concern of mine would be falling victim to an islamophobic attack. Being visibly Muslim (by wearing a hijab) I already experience islamophobia in public and online. It's quite frightening to be screamed at in public because a stranger doesn't like what I am wearing, or to be harassed online by people "debating" (which includes insulting me) my choice of clothing.

My faith is not harming anyone. Other people's faith and beliefs do not harm me (as long as they aren't being forced on me).

I pray for a day in which we are all free to practice our beliefs, and that we can coexist peacefully while doing so. In the meantime, we can all do our part and contribute to this cause by calling out spiritual abuse when we see it, and by fighting for each others' rights to practice our faith.




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